First Girlfriend

The French are a hard lot to shock. Remember the funeral of President Mitterand where his wife and the mother of his illegitimate daughter stood side by side, the image of a grieving family? Very few Gallic eyebrows were raised then.

More recently, what happened just a few days after François Hollande’s inauguration as President of France didn’t shock the French either, but sent the people I talked to in Paris roaring with laughter. I hereby invite you to share in the fun, but be cautioned, you will need to really pay attention to fully appreciate the story for it has more twists and turns than a Feydeau comedy.

Where should I begin?

François Hollande’s unmarried companion of many years, Ségolène Royale, bore him 4 children. Both are Socialist ambitious career politicians. They split up in 2007 when Royale found out about Hollande’s relationship with a journalist by the name of Valérie Trierweiler. More, a lot more about her later.

There was a lot happening at the time in Ségolène Royale’s life, for she had started the process of a presidential run, a contest she eventually lost to Nicolas Sarkozy. She went on to be the very active President of the Charente-Poitou region.

In the meantime, Hollande’s relationship with Valérie Trierweiler (unkind voices call her “Rottweiler”) became public. The future “first girlfriend” was – and still is – married to her second husband and father of 3 children. She is a journalist at Paris-Match and when her boyfriend became President, she managed to keep her job as the magazine editorialist. Apparently no one foresaw a conflict of interest. Moreover when she wrote an article about Eleanore Roosevelt, stressing the independent mind of the former American first lady who frequently and publicly disagreed with her husband, nobody read the writing on the wall. It is also rumored that she hates – the word is not too strong – Ségolène Royale, her beau’s former mate.

When the last presidential campaing started in 2011, the socialist party decided to adopt a primary system similar to the American one and the two exes i.e. Royale and Hollande competed for the nomination. In the end Hollande won the right to run against Sarkozy and Royale was gracious enough to endorse him. When the results were announced, Hollande went over to Royale and gave her two kisses on the cheeks, prompting Trierweiler to demand in front of everybody that he kisses her on the lips.

What happened behind closed doors will never be known, but when came the time for parliamentary elections, Royale was sent to campaign to the city of La Rochelle where her planned victory was seen as the launching pad for her election as the head of parliament. It was hard not to see Royale’s assignment as a presidential thank-you for supporting her political rival and father of her children. Of course, she had the unconditional support of the new President and the whole socialist apparatus. There was a problem though: the socialist mayor of La Rochelle, Olivier Falorni, was also running and didn’t want to withdraw from the race, ultimately causing his exclusion from the socialist party.

Are you still with me? I hope so, because here’s where it really becomes funny.

With the President and all the big guns of the socialist party in her camp., Royale was the odds-on favorite Only Falorni stood between her and a prestigious appointment, but he didn’t have the allies that  she had. And then …

And then, 2 days before the June election, Trierweiler – the “first girl friend” remember?  – twittered that she was supporting, not Royale, President Hollande’s choice, but her opponent. Jealousy had prevailed over loyalty and common sense. Laughter or outrage ensued depending on which side you happened to be.

Election day came and Royale lost, Falorni’s victory possibly dealing the coup de grace to her political career. Trierweiler’s tweet had done it.

One thing is sure, the dinner conversation between the President and the first girlfriend at the Elysées Palace must have been animated. As for the conservatives, they’re still laughing. Hollande isn’t even the boss at home, they say, how can you expect him to run the country?